(no subject)

[livedforher]

Life is suffering needlessly, then dying.

Comments

[levans]

Only suffering? Is that all you've ever experienced?

[livedforher]

[It's difficult to look at Lily directly, so he doesn't quite meet her eye.]

The majority of my life, yes.

[levans]

How much of that was avoidable, Severus?

[livedforher]

[He sneers a little.] You tell me, Evans.

[levans]

[She frowns, but is more hurt than angry.]

Maybe there would have been less suffering if you'd made different choices.

[potionbrewing]

[Severus is more hurt than he lets on, too, and he naturally lashes out at her, angrily.]

Or maybe there would have been less suffering if you'd spent less time with that idiot Potter.

[levans]

Funny thing about that. I didn't spend any time with him until my best friend showed me how he really felt about me.

[She's certainly not about to let him away with being the victim on that score.]

[potionbrewing]

[Severus glowers, but he doesn't immediately send a retort back. Her cool words did hurt him, but far be it for him to let her know that.

Still, as well as she knows him, or knew him... she might be able to see it. When he finds the words, he finally bites them back out at her.]

Don't play dumb, Lily. You knew Potter liked you. Everyone did.

[levans]

For someone as smart as I know you are, you can be really thick. So what if Potter liked me? That had nothing to do with you and me.

I would say that I didn't think you thought so little of me, but in light of everything, I guess I did know.

[potionbrewing]

Because he... he liked you, and he's the most pathetic of all the Gryffindors. He's not... he's not worthy of your attention, Lily!

[Okay, so maybe the anger is giving way to more hurt, and desperation.]

You were expected to fancy him too, because he's your... he's the sort you would go for.

[levans]

I 'go for' people who respect me, people who have integrity, people who don't look down on other people for completely irrelevant bloody reasons.

Again, I'd like to point out, since you apparently missed it the first time round, that James Potter had absolutely nothing to do with what happened between you and me. But since you can't seem to stop mentioning him, how is he any less worthy of my attention than someone who wants to toady up to people who think 'my kind' don't deserve to live?

[She misses Severus and the friendship they had so desperately, and she's furious with him for destroying what they had.]

[potionbrewing]

[How to tell her he wouldn't have sided with 'those people' if he'd known he still had a chance with her? If he'd ever had a real chance with her?]

Why do you have to be so very... Gryffindor? I'm Slytherin, Lily, this is who I am. These are my people, and we... we are better. That is how the world works. You end up with another Gryffindor like Potter, and I end up alone, but with others like me. I'm a part of something with them, and my talents for the dark arts are appreciated there.

[levans]

Well, then relieving yourself of my unworthy, Gryffindor, muggle-born company should improve your life significantly. If that's the case, quit your stupid complaining.

[potionbrewing]

Well, then... yes, maybe... maybe I will! I don't need you, and it's obvious you don't need... need me.

[levans]

And how exactly is it obvious that I don't need you? Because I insulted and rejected you? Oh no, wait. You did that to me. Hmm.

[potionbrewing]

[He scoffed.] You would have done the same to me eventually. Don't bother denying it.

[Severus looked away, thrusting his hands into his tattered pockets.] I apologized for that, anyway. You wouldn't listen.

[levans]

I wouldn't have, but I suppose I should thank you. You rescued me from ending up with someone who believes I'm an inferior being.

[sophically]

How optimistic.